So much on my mind!

Well I know that I have unloaded my weight issues on you and I am sure that you find that topic boring, so today I will unload everything else on you.
1) I have been depressed lately and I can not put my finger on the reason. As you all know and I am not ashamed to say, I am on zoloft so this should not be happening to me. I know that zoloft is not the cure all by any means. All it is helping me do right now is not to crawl up in a ball and cry my eyes out. I don't really even know why I want to cry so bad, I am sure the PMS has a little something to do with it.
2) I often find myself questioning why people are in my life?? I know that sounds really silly, but I do! I wonder if some people are in my life for reasons unknown to me, were the put in my life to learn hard lessons from? Were they put in my life to help me learn to trust more? I just don't know. I have a really hard time trusting people and then there are times that I just trust way too easily. Why is that? I sometimes find myself trusting the people that don't deserve it at all, and then when that trust is broken I find myself questioning everyone else around me. Am I just friends with some people because we have been friends for so long that it just seems like I must continue the friendship? I don't know I am just rambling on with the thoughts in my head right now. I do know that I have some wonderful friends that do truly love me, and I have some friends that I feel like just use me for my always available shoulder to lean on. The ones that when you call them up needing to talk about what is on your mind and they turn a deaf ear to what you are saying and can't wait to get back on the conversation of themselves. I am 33 maybe it is time to weed some people out of my life. I know you shouldn't have people in your life that you question the reason for their existence.
3)I have been missing my father so much lately. I don't really ever talk about this. But, with the birth of Blake I truly wish everyday that my daddy would be around to meet my girls. Would he be proud of the woman I have become? Would he love my angels as much as I do? I know how much he loved me so I just assume he would feel the same way about my girls. It is still unreal to me that he is gone and that I don't have him to talk to. He was always there for me when I needed to talk or needed help figuring something out in my life. He was taken from me way to soon, and that is unfair to me. Do you ever truly get over losing someone you loved so much?
4) We have been married for almost 5 years. In 21 days it will be 5 years. I want to do something so special but with the girls that just doesn't seem possible. Maybe we will all go out to a special dinner. I don't know, maybe I will get Aunt Salma to watch the girls for a while so we can go out and enjoy just the two of us. I can not believe it has already been 5 years, I was thinking about our wedding last night and how much fun we had and how beautiful the ceremony was, I just wish we could go back and do it again.

I will put this to an end for now, I just wanted to vent I guess

The crazy mind of McCalle

The Galloway's are HOME!

Yesterday we got the incredible news that Beau and Dax were being released and would be back in Houston sooner than we thought. They made the long drive from Austin to Houston last night and got home around 8pm. They said the ride went smoothe and the boys were angels, but ready to eat when they arrived to their HOME.
I went by and took lunch to Leah and Curtis today and got to peak in on "my" boys. They were sleeping soundly in their pack n' play. I am so happy that they are all finally home. I missed Leah more than I could ever express. To go from talking to someone all day long everyday to seeing her only once every few weeks and talking on the phone rarely has been pretty hard! But, they are home and I am so happy to have them all back in Houston!

McF

My day with all the precious boys!

I went to Austin for work and got to spend some time with some dear friends. The first picture is of Parker Fullerton Gamwell and for those that don't know who he is let me explain. Parker is the precious son of Sophie and Dan Gamwell- both of which I have known a very long time. Sophie and I have been friends since we were 2, so basically our entire lives. I met Dan in high school and these two could not be a better match for one another. When I found out they were dating I just knew that they were perfect together. Parker came into this world one week after Blake. How is it that Soph and I got pregnant at the exact same time and had babies one week apart. CRAZY! I was so happy to finally meet sweet Parker, he did not make a peep the entire lunch. He even got so bored with us gossiping that he caught up on some sleep. It was great to see them both! Congrats to Sophie and Dan for one amazing little boy!

After meeting with a few more customers I headed on to the hospital to check in on Leah and "my" boys! They are doing amazing. The last thing to worry about was Beau getting his feeding tube out and when I got there it was GONE! I got to hold both of them for a long time and tell them how much I love them and how much I can not wait to get them home. The boys started at 2lbs15oz and are almost both 6lbs, they are growing so good! I know that this has been a long, hard, emotional journey for the Galloway's and this part is coming to an end and having the boys home is just about to begin! I can not wait to watch these boys grow!

Me with Dax and Leah with Beau!
Beau
Dax


Leah and Beau
This is Rhonda, an amazing NICU nurse that has been so wonderful to team G!

Just add Water!

What a beautiful day today was. Mike went and played golf with some high school friends and I stayed home with the girls. By afternoon time I was ready to get out and enjoy the sun. So we went next door to see what was going on and Jill was putting up the water slide. Why not!!! The kids had so much fun. Lily is not scared of a thing, she would still be going down that slide if I would allow.

As I already mentioned earlier we went to a crawfish boil last night. Mike brought baby Blake and I home around 6:30 so I could feed Blake and do some little things around the house. And then about 10:30 in walks Mike and Lils. Lily played her little heart out, she was exhausted. I was a little annoyed that they got home so late, I mean she is only 2!! Sometimes mommy just has to let go and let daddy take control and have some fun with his little girl.

I am off to Austin tomorrow for some serious work for a few days, and hoping to get to see the boys for a little bit while I am there. They are doing amazingly well, and I want to get by and give them kisses! The older Lily gets and the more Blake grows it gets harder and harder to be a working mom that has to travel. But, I know that it is for my family and so that is what keeps me going.

Have a great week,

McF

Burger from Hell!

Monday update on a Sunday night!

All I can think about is the juicy burger from hell I am going to eat when I get to Amarillo. That will be my reward to myself- I might have to throw in some cheese fries too. I have not weighed today, but I can tell you that I have been very good when it comes to eating. I am not starving anymore which is a plus. My boss was in town all last week and that was really hard to eat healthy with him, but I have to admit that I did great. The gym has been hard for me to get to, but I promise to change that!

We went to a crawfish boil yesterday and I HATE crawfish so I was tempted by all of the dips in the kitchen. I finally had to tell Mike it was time for me to go, I couldn't stand around and look at all of that yummy goodness anymore.

So I am on the right track, at least I have the hard part of healthy eating down!

Still fat but on the road to recovery,

McF

Amazing weekend!

We did nothing this weekend. We went to Rainforest Cafe and that was about it. But, for some reason I had the best weekend. I had so much fun with my girls and with Mike. I was really sad today when I thought Mike was going to leave us and go and play golf, only because I felt like we were having so much fun.

Lily and I went to CVS yesterday and to Sonic for drinks, it was just fun being with her and talking to her about silly stuff. Today I took her with me to the grocery store, I was very nervous on the way there. She usually is out of control and wanting to get down and run the aisles. NOT TODAY! Today she sat in the cart and we talked about all of the produce and she told me what everything was and what she wanted. It was just amazing hanging out with her and seeing how smart she truly is. I was just thinking tonight how truly blessed I am to have such a wonderful little family. I feel like my family is perfect and my little girls are such blessings. They have truly changed my life in everyway. I think Mike is right where he should be, a father of 2 precious princesses. He is so amazing with both of them. Lily loves her daddy and I know that Blake will love him just as much. Not to mention having his babies and seeing him with them has made me love him so much more.

Blake is smiling so much. She follows everything with her eyes and she just smiles. She coos and coos, it is the most awesome sound for her mommy to hear. I am so happy that she is back to feeling good, it scared me to death with her fever being that high. I just want to protect my girls and for them to never feel pain. I know that is not reality, but I will guard them for as long as I can.

Much Love,

McF

Down 5!

Okay here is my Monday weight update on Sunday night! I had to weigh this morning because I couldn't take it anymore. So I have lost 5lbs and that is basically only with changing totally what I am eating. I went to the gym twice last week, but with my precious angel sick I had to stay home and care for her instead. The ladies at the gym probably think I will be gone for another year.
I have been cooking healthy and not eating as much, so I guess this is my new life. I took a picture of my boring dinner from this evening. Last night GoMa(Mike's mom) came over and decided to cook for us, she made us a healthy spaghetti with meatballs. It was so nice to have the night off from the kitchen. Thanks GoMa! I do have to admit I am really enjoying cooking and Mike doesn't seem to care what I cook as long as I cook! It is challenging to cook and care for the girls at the same time, but Mike handles them while I do the dirty work in the kitchen.
I am not going to admit the amount that I weigh at this point, it will floor you all and make you not want to be associated with me. I will save you the horror for now!

Still fat and hopefully on the road to chubby soon,

McF

Rainforest Cafe on a Saturday!

Well I have been trying to think of different things for us to take Lily to do. So while watching curious George the other morning I noticed a commercial for Rainforest Cafe, so the bright idea popped into my head. I don't get many bright ideas and from this lesson I continue to be lacking in the bright idea area. We got Lily all excited to go and see Lions and Gorillas and as soon as we walked into the cafe the thunder was rumbling and the lights were flashing and Lily turned to the door and said, "lets go bye-bye". We convinced her to go in and sit down next to the nice elephant that I had to pet in order for her to know he was nice. He was actually a frightening looking guy. She did pretty good sitting there and looking around. We ordered our food and this is where my idea really becomes a BOMB! Let me just start by saying 3 of us eating cost $70BUCKS! Yes, that is correct! The food was worse than dog food. I had a salad and Mike had some pasta and well Lily had chicken bites that she did not touch. I could not believe how over priced this place was. I guess we were paying extra to have our 2 year old scared to death! Nice going mom and dad.. On our RUN out of the restaurant Lily met the aligator or Ali as she likes to refer to him. She wanted to stay and play with that scary thing all day. So I guess all in all she had fun, thank goodness for Ali!

My advice, stear clear of The Rainforest Cafe, well unless you love horrible, expensive dog food!

Much Love,

McF

On the mend!

After a very high fever for half of the week we are finally on the mend. Nothing showed up on any of the tests they ran on her- which is good news. So we are on the mend and moving on from a scary week!

dadgum Fryar ears!

Well so it begins for baby Blake. I got a call today from Salma and she said that Blake had a 102.2 temp and that was when it was taken under her arm, so I knew that it could not be good whatever it was. I ran to the school and picked her up and off to Dr. Brack we went. Amazing thing is that Dr. Brack was back from her maternity leave and today was her first day YAY! So an hour after giving Blake tylenol Dr. Brack took her temp rectally (is that a word?)and there it was 102.5 again, which means it was around 103.5 when Salma took it under her arm. So Dr. Brack was pretty alarmed by this number and checked her out completely, her lungs and chest were perfect and then time to check her ears.......duh dun duh.... We have the beginnings of a ear infection, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? already?? So that is the joys we are dealing with today. I postponed my trip to Austin so I can stay home with my little angel.......

The wagon!

Okay I promise to only blog about my weight journey on Mondays. But, seeing that yesterday was my first day back into the gym I thought I would update about that.
Why is it scary walking back into the gym for the first time? I was afraid the girl at the front desk was going to laugh at me and tell me to get lost. I guess she noticed how much I truly needed to be there and let the laughter stay hidden inside of her. She asked if she could take a picture of me so when I check in my picture will appear. Ummm no, NO! Please no pictures right now, I looked worse than usual so I dodged that bullet.
Last night I was so exhausted from just 40 minutes of working out. I know that this will get better and I will be so happy when I get into a routine of working out. So the journey has begun.......

Here it is in writing!

I think if I put it in writing it will help me to stay focused and I will have to update my progress. Blake is 3 months old and so it is time for mommy to shed the baby weight. I am miserable in my clothes and hate getting dressed for the mere thought of having to look in a mirror. I know my poor husband is tired of looking at me this way too. I just keep telling myself I had his baby so he should love me for that. No more EXCUSES! My dear friend Breezy is getting married on May 15th and I am determined to have at least lost 10lbs by then. I will have 50 more to go after that. So here is where the food party stops and the weight loss begins. I have done this many times before and know that this time is no different. So here we go, wish me luck!

Any healthy recipes are appreciated!

Week with Momo!

Momo came to visit the girls for a week. We had a lot of fun just doing nothing. She finally got to spend some time with Blake. It is hard for her to pay much attention to Blake because Lily wants MoMo to herself.

Mike went to Austin Saturday to spend the day with Beau and Dax so the girls had a slumber party. We put the air mattress in the living room, made pizza and watched Dora. Lily had a great time using the air mattress as her trampoline.

Sunday morning the girls were up early so I got them dressed and we headed to College Station to take some pictures with the wildflowers. Lily had the time of her life running around in the flowers. Blake, well she probably thought we were all nuts. Lily is not into sitting anywhere near her sister so I had to bribe her with Mickey Mouse stickers. I hope that one day she will love sweet Blake.

Blake is almost 3 months old, I can not believe it! She has to be the sweetest most gentle baby I have ever known. She rarely ever cries and sleeps so good. She has been sleeping through the night for almost a month. She sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night but puts herself right back to sleep. She is starting to smile all of the time. She is a little angel and I could not love her anymore.

Lily, she is a mess. I love her little personality. She is into everything and mostly into telling me NO all of the time. We are working on that. But, I am so thankful that she has the personality that she does. I did not want her to be shy and believe me she is far from that.

We will all miss MoMo but we will see her in a month!

McF